Light

Three beams of sunshine
escape through holes in
the woolen sky, falling
slanted, away from the valley
and onto forested mountainsides,
a sign, from whom?
for what purpose?

I wonder as I stand in that valley,
gazing upward at illuminated wilds.
Am I to go there, I ask myself,
playing into my ego, I ask further:
is it a sign for me?

(Must not believe in mythos.
Must not believe in divinity.
Always negate the idea of Fate.)

And yet the scene is otherworldly,
murky sky pierced
by the way of heavens,
a guide toward a future,
divine determination I have
tried to escape entirely,
manifest fully in a single image.

(Other voice presses to speak.
Urgent release of information.
Pressing. Pushing. Pulling
apart phantasms.)

"Merely" a scene of natural beauty,
wholly random,
testament to the Bang
and evolution of everything,
but nothing more.
No god. No divinity.
Period.

Yet this certainty feels uncertain,
core of body shaken
by the lingering scene:

Light illuminates a place
I have never been, as
I dream to unroot myself
from this valley, waving
good-bye to endless facades,
rediscovering myself and
truth(s), Lies left tethered to
lawns-- Rebirth, now!

(Coincidence, there is such a thing.)

But it all feels so meaningless
otherwise. This other explanation--
so whole, mysterious,
orb, swirling with undetermined
gaseous matter, transfixed,

I want that feeling again:
alive again, blood flowing as
the limits of my body shift.

(Go up the mountain! Worry
not for the explanation of things.)

Does it really matter where
my decision came from? I pause,
rummaging through thoughts as
I settle on 'no', wondering why
I haven't escaped this contrived
existence for a lived life.

While I receive no answer,
I think of something else in
the process:
THERE IS NOTHING ELSE
HERE FOR ME!!

I must leave.

(To creativity,
to mystery,
to pain, to rediscovery.)

In an instant, holes of
the woolen sky are filled
and I am set on my
journey, like my future
its circumstances are
unexplained.